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Courtsey of Five Thrifty Eight 

Editors note* These are paraphrases from the second 2020 democractic presidential debate

By Deon Osborne, Senior Writer 

Thursday Morning Political Laughs with Deon

JOE BIDEN/CNN: “Go easy on me, guys. You know I’m the best shot you’ve got.”

KAMALA HARRIS: “I’m proud of my strong prosecutor record. But now I’m progressive.”

COREY BOOKER: “Yeah, I used to be bought by the pharmaceutical company. But you trust me now, right?”

JULIAN CASTRO: “You really want to debate me on immigration policy? Let’s go.”

ANDREW YANG: “Vote for me and I’ll save the economy from an automation takeover. Trust me. I’m Asian. I know math.” (His words) 

KIRSTEN GILLIBRAND: “I’m privileged but I care!”

BILL DE BLASIO: “Is this mic on? Am I yelling loud enough? I’m just here to make sure the real candidate taxes the hell out of the wealthy!”

MICHAEL BENNET: “I’m still in the race? Can I take a nap first?”

JAY INSLEE: “Vote for me or the planet will die.” (Also only candidate to call Trump a white nationalist)

TULSI GABBARD: “I’m the real patriot president.”

Deon Osborne was born in Minneapolis, MN and raised in Lawton, OK before moving to Norman where he attended the University of Oklahoma. He graduated with a bachelor’s degree in Strategic Media and has...